STEVE MARTIN

LADIES AND GENTLEMAN STEVE MARTIN I just got back from France... ...boy, those French: they have a different word for everything! Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town. A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.. I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice. I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy. I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks. I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper. I've got to keep breathing. It'll be my worst business mistake if I don't. Talking about music is like dancing about architecture. There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won't stand for that. Steve Martin